Why I'm happy to drink less.

If you would have told me 6 months ago that I would be happy to barely ever drink, I wouldn't have believed you. It all started with having a couple drinks at home after work to destress a couple times a week. Then it was 4 or 5 times a week and I couldn't wait to get home to have my drinks. I started to realize I was looking forward to happy hour just a little too much and I wanted to figure out why. I wanted to be high on life. I also wanted to eat better and lose some weight. There are a lot of calories in booze!

So I stopped drinking for a month. The first week or so was the hardest. Life seemed so boring without it. I know how ridiculous that sounds! The good news was I really started to fill my time with other things that were more productive and interesting. Don't get me wrong I still craved a glass of wine and some cheese now and then (did I mention I'm not eating any dairy right now either?) But the cravings weren't ruling my world. I was feeling better every day.

I finally had a couple glasses last Saturday with dinner. The first glass was nice. After that it was just meh. Then I had 3 glasses last nite with some wings with friends. The first 2 glasses were nice but I really didn't need the third. I wasn't hungover or anything  but I realized how it impacted my behavior. I didn't get rowdy or say anything bad but your behavior does change when you've had a few. I'm learning I really don't like that. I'm an expressive person on a normal day and drinking just amplifies that to an annoying degree. So it was great to have that reminder because I don't need to drink to have a good time anymore. If you need to have a drink to have a good time there are some issues that need facing.
You know what I don't miss about getting drunk? Falling down and hurting myself, embarrassing myself and others, saying something mean or hurtful to someone and binge smoking to name a few things.(pretty much quit smoking as well too!) Only time I want to smoke is when I've had more than 1 or 2 but it's slowly getting non existent. I don't care if you can say this but I am proud of myself! I want to be healthy and happy and have as little regret as possible! Im trying to keep the foot in mouth comments you get from drinking to a minimum! I tend to be hyper critical of myself. Spending half the next day regretting/analyzing stupid drunk things I said is a horrible way to spend my time.

It doesn't mean I'll never enjoy a nice glass of wine. It just means I'm keeping it to once a week and maybe 2ish glasses. There's always the odd special occasion of course. In general though, I have to say I'm much happier now that I've made this change. Now if I could just do something about my hormones and hit the gym more I'd be set. (Physical health wise anyway;I'll say nothing about my mental health!)

Here we are again

I can’t believe it’s been so long since my last blog. I tend to get really caught up with life, as we all do, and then I don’t take the time to do these things. Well that’s only really half true. The other half is that when I’m not fully satisfied with something (or many things) I tend to go inward and don’t really feel like sharing. I’m also not one of those people who feels the need to share every little thing in my life: what I ate this morning, 30 pictures of my dogs, etc. I’m not bashing people who do; it’s just not for me. I do enjoy seeing my friends post details of their everyday lives, especially when I don’t get to see them very often, I just can’t be bothered to do the same lol. But I digress.

Now this may sound like I’m saying the reason I haven’t blogged is because I haven’t been happy with things. Not at all. I just didn’t feel like it. Also I’m not really into sharing the journey, I’d rather just skip to the end when I have things how I want them. I feel like I see people chat up their intentions all the time (of course it’s great to have goals and strive for them), but I feel like a lot of the time it’s just blah, blah, blah the same thing over and over again but no results are going to come, or if they do, they don’t last. For me personally, I’d rather just do it rather than talk about it endlessly. Then, when I share the results at the end, it’s a surprise. I don’t have to worry about people asking me, “Oh, how’s that going so far?” and feeling discouraged because my results aren’t where I’d like them to be. Now this is relevant to everything from losing weight, to redecorating the house or even knitting a sweater. I do these things to please myself, not others, but sometimes the stress of explaining your progress can be a buzz kill. (To me, anyway)

It just so happens that right now I’m in a sharing mood, lol. So I’m going to try to blog more. We’ll see if that actually sticks.

Milk is bad for you?

So today I would like to share something that I discovered about a year ago. It impacted me immensely, but in no way do I feel that others will feel the same. All I want to do in this case is share knowledge, and people can glean from it what they will. I feel a moral responsibility to share this with others. I know many people already know about this, so I may not be sharing something new. It's not really about that though; instead it's about the fact that for your whole life you have been lied to. We know there are many dishonest people and corporations in the world. We know the government is less than forthcoming with many things. How many times has there been some scandal or another gracing the front page of the newspaper?

So here's a big fat lie. Read the link and decide for yourself... www.saveourbones.com/osteoporosis-milk-myth/ I didn't just go to the first page I found on the internet and decide to trust this was true. I did a lot of researching and fact checking so that I could be sure this wasn't a lie. I don't believe that knowing that milk is bad for you will change your life forever. But I prefer to think of it in a different sense. Your whole life you were taught to believe that milk 'does a body good'. Milk, yogurt,cheese, oh it is all a great source of calcium, which is so important for healthy bones. So we'd better hurry up and get as much as possible! We were all puppets in the milk marketing machine.

How many of you as kids saw how fast your house went through that 4 litre plastic jug of milk every week....even every day? For the better part of your life it was a belief, a value that was ingrained in you that milk was good for you. So it must be true, right? I don't mean to not give people credit, I've met many people who know that it's a lie, or at least try to consider it. I also meet people that straight up won't even consider the possibility that milk is bad for them. And I'll tell you why they think that way. I get it, I really do. It was hard for me too. It's a breakdown of your entire life's belief system. It's like me coming to you and saying, "You know how your whole life you thought blue was blue. Well it's not, it's actually green." You'd think I was mad, you wouldn't want to believe me. Just imagine for a minute that I was right, that society lied about colors to you for your whole life. Ok, it's a silly analogy, but that's how silly people sometimes think I am for telling them the whole 'milk is bad' thing. But if you allow yourself to consider it, doesn't it make you mad that you've been lied to this whole time? Doesn't it make you wonder what else you've been lied to about? Don't you want to try to discover for yourself what is real in this world and what is not?

To me, anyhow, it was one of many small discoveries that created a spark in me, to learn more about how we have had our values shaped for us by the higher ups. My real point here is just this. QUESTION EVERYTHING. Don't blindly accept things just because it was how you were raised or it's what everyone else does. KNOWLEDGE IS POWER. The problem is, the government and corporations don't want us to obtain that knowledge because they know what we would do with it and we wouldn't follow their ways anymore. Milk companies have spent billions of dollars perpetuating a lie to us to keep us buying their product. They know they'd lose a lot of business if more people knew the truth. I just feel like people have a right to know that, they can do what they want with the information. But just let them have it!

Don't give up

After about 5 hours of fitful dreams, I found myself awake this morning at 530am. This is in no way typical for me; I am a good sleeper normally. I found myself laying in bed trying to figure out what had me so twisted up and anxious. It occured to me that I had allowed myself to temporarily 'believe the hype', and had become discouraged. I'm already shaking it off, and returning to normal. I'm glad that I have the constitution to be able to do that, I have been known to hold onto certain things in the past. Still do sometimes, but I'm working on that. I feel this saying of

is very true, and it took me a long time to learn how to be the kind of person who could let things go. Doesn't mean I'm cured, just means I am much more inclined to not let things stop me. In no way does this mean I am referring that there is someone in my past I am still hurt about. It's more about the philosophy that I have been through that and now know how to let go...most of the time! But I digress. How did this all begin? Recently, as in the last 3 years of my life, but more specifically in the last year, I have been doing some very serious thinking. I feel as though in the last year I have come across more knowledge and revelations then I have in my whole lifetime! Trust me when I say it has been a lot to take in, but nothing that I couldn't handle. I just needed to teach myself how to accept and process things in a new way. Again, doesn't mean I've near mastered it. I figure practice makes perfect, so I'm just going to keep on trying and learning. All of this has forced me to truly re-evaluate what is important in my life, what do I really value. The short answer would be family,loved ones and quality of life. QUALITY OF LIFE! The long answer is one I am going to be happy to start sharing my thoughts on here with everyone, as I have already been doing in my day to day life. Now, in order to create the life I now want for myself, it is going to require drastic changes for myself. Initially I had to start small, and slowly sell myself on these changes. The great thing was, the more I did that, the more it worked! I began to get really excited about my life, about my future, more so than anytime in my life ever! Does this not seem like a reason to rejoice? Yes.....and no. I am smart enough to not 'put the cart before the horse', and not create a fantasy future image in my head. Nothing in reality can compete with that if you do that. I don't think its healthy to think the grass is greener on the other side. I have done that before and it's never been good for me. Rather, I'd like to think, it's not really about the 'grass' this time, but rather what being on the grass is going to allow me to do with my life. I have decided, however, that until my life changes are starting to be in effect, that I'm not going to talk about them to everyone, and glorify them. No, I'm not making promises I'm not going to keep this time. But that doesn't mean I'm not so so excited for them! Now, my funny sleep patterns last night stemmed from me having a moment of doubt before I went to bed. Was I making the right choices, and for the right reasons? Was I really going to be able to do it, stay with it? I believe doubt is healthy in small doses. It is your minds way of telling you that there's still something that needs more thought or work. Thankfully, it was a case of small doubt. I was able to sort it out in my mind this morning, and am now more resolute then ever. I can tell you that I have never been more determined in life then I am right now. Haha you doubtfairies, Laleh wins again! So the moral of the story? Don't give up.

my new diet

So I have been figuring out some things about myself lately, and I have realized....I can't eat like I'm 20 anymore! Waaaaahhhh. This has been an ongoing problem, to those of you who know me well, I have had stomach problems for years. I've always known that my stomach gest really mad at me for eating crappy, but it's definetly gotten worse over the years. I don't go out to Mcdonalds all the time or eat fast food, and I very rarely drink pop or eat junk food. Still, it's more about the fact of eating over processed foods or foods of covenience; things with too many sugars, starches or preservatives. I've always known that my yeast levels are high and this summer they went through the roof and caused me alot of health problems, never to mention the normal bloating and gut rot my tummy was putting me through.

It all came to a head when I went home to sask and was travelling around. Well we all know you don't eat as well when vacationing. It was all so go go go, so that I didn't really have time to eat well. Unless I was going to get a salad when we went to Mcdonalds, and you know I'm not going to do that when everyone else is having a burger! Again, it wasn't all 'junk food', but lots of carbs and a lack of any proper fruits, veggies or FIBRE in general is gonna do that to you. By the second day I got to my moms I was a mess and spent the better half of a day in bed. Of course to her it looked like I wasn't taking care of myself, and she gave me the naggy mom lecture, which frustrated me even more. Suffice it to say, I felt I had hit a wall and enough was enough. By the time I got home I was committed to turning over a new leaf. But then it was off to Vegas 3 days later so that didn't help! Surprisingly I ate pretty good in Vegas, that was partially because I didn't want to be sick during my trip! (pepto is my best friend, how sad!)

Now I am home, and slowly but surely, through lots of effort on my part, my body is sorting itself out and I am feeling better. I went grocery shopping and bought a fridge full of fruits and veggies, spelt bread, lactose free milk, sugar free and gluten free products(buckwheat waffles rock!). Because I am learning, through depriving myself of certain things, and then reintroducing them, that I definetly have some food sensitivities. I have noticed that milk, or rather lactose is most certainly a culprit; if I eat ice cream or anything straight milk, like milkshakes or cream soups, I get super bloated and yucky. Although yogurt, goat cheese and super aged cheese like old cheddar seems to be fine, so I get my dairy fix too. Interesting fact; did u know that super aged cheese has virtually no lactose in it? So it's good for all you sensitive cheese lovers. I still get my cereal in the morn due to the lactose free milk, and eggs are fine too. So I'm not suffering that much, I've just had to readjust some things. No pasta for now and limited white rice, and cut down in the sugar, which I'm learning is in EVERYTHING. I've got naturally sweetened jam and stevia, which helps. And I'm really learning to read the ingredients of anything I buy. Basically, if I can't pronounce it, I'm not buying it. So I'm eating at home alot, but I'm enjoying it, cooking new recipes and trying new things. I'm really excited about it and think it'll really pay off in the end!

checking in

Where to start? I feel like its been fovever since I blogged, well it has been almost 4 months. It was a combination of busy, working, vacationing and just being a little lazy about blogging. Gotta keep this point form or it'll take forever. Justin came to see me for a week in July, which was nice, I feel like I don't see my little bro enough so it was nice to spend time with him. He is going into grade 12 and of course is in his teenagery years so there's a lot of growing to do still but I'm hoping he figures it all out!

Its been a whirlwind month, I went home to saskatchewan to visit family and friends for a week, and then went to vegas after that. All I can say is as nice as those trips may have been, I am so happy to be home! Travelling wreaks havoc on my body and digestive system. I will leave descriptions of both home and vegas for another blog, there's a lot to share there! For now I am glad to be home and back into a normal work/life routine. I am actually looking forward to fall, and buying some new boots and jackets and scarves. Summer was nice, but we here in Vancouver didn't have that nice of a summer until august, so I am kind of over it and ready to see it go. Maybe it's because I'm excited over all the fall shopping I get to do!

OMG I love my conditioner

I don't often do this, but I love these products so much i have to rave! First is my Organix shea butter conditioner.

It's thick and makes my hair soft and silky, but the main reason I love it is just for the smell alone! It's sweet and tropical and oh so acddictive!I find myself getting crazily excited for showertime just so I can get a good whiff of this conditioner. And it's not only me that feels this way. I met up with my brother the other day, and when I hugged him he said, "Your hair smells so good!"
Continuing with the hair trend is my Live Clean Argan Oil Smooth and Shine cream.

I got a haircut recently, and my hairdresser said my hair was really dry; in part because of my styling products. I have curly hair so I need to use products to control the frizz and define my curls. She said alot of products like mousse and gel have alcohol in them, which is drying for your hair, and to try a hair creme instead and see if it made a difference. Well it has. I love this stuff. This and a little hairspray to finish and my hair is good to go! This stuff smells great too and leaves my hair soft and frizz free. I don't have to use alot, it goes a long way, so my hair doesn't feel weighed down at all. Plus it has argan oil, which is a natural oil thats a great moisturizer. So there u go.
Argan infused products are becoming popular, and I'm a big fan. I'm also loving my Josie Maran Argan Oil Lip treatment.

It comes in this cute little pot and works wonders. For some unsolved reason, when I am stressed, or even if I use certain face products or my skin gets too dry, I've been getting this weird little rash on the corners of my mouth. Its red and cracked and not comfy at all. Ever since I've started using this I don't get the rash at all. Plus it smells and tastes great too. Its not greasy but it gives a nice light shine to my lips. My only (small)complaint is that it doesn't last super long and I have to apply a couple times. But over all I'm very happy with it. I like to put it on at night right before I go to bed so it can sink in and do it's work!
These are all little things that make my life a bit easier, but sometimes you have to enjoy the little things. The big things don't always come along often, so why not get joy where you can?