Thursday, November 5, 2009
So much to say but I'll just stick to the basics.
Right now there are a virtual myriad of things floating around in my head. I've never been happy just having a few things to think about; there always has to be multiple ideas coming and going. Sometimes, I'm reminded of a thought that somehow got pushed out and replaced by another one. For example, yesterday a friend and I were walking down commercial after sharing some wine at our fave eatery.....it wasn't too cold out and I was feeling festive and contented. Two men came sauntering before us, one was playing the acordion, the other a flute. I asked my friend to stop and watch for a moment as they passed by, my eyes never leaving the mans fingers as he lovingly pressed the keys. For those who know me from 'back in the day', you will know I was talking about the man with the flute. (no offence acordion guy) And it got me to thinking....."Oh yeah, last year I wanted to start playing the flute again!" Whatever happened to that idea? Life.
And I started to wonder......why does life happen in that way? Why do we always push aside our wants, needs, dreams and desires in place of the pursuit of the status quo? It seems the more immediate, pressing things become all consuming. What bills do I have to pay, oh I'm going to vegas next week, how long do I have to save to get the new flatscreen I want? But my bills, vacations, and shiny new gadgets don't make me who I am....but instead of my deepest desires, those are the things that take prevalence. At the end of the day we are so tired from work, daily bs, worries and wants, that we dont take the time or energy for anything else. Sleep work dog gym friends school work work think think worry worry. Rinse and repeat.
This next year I want to learn to drive standard, finish my unfinished paintings, finish my portfolio, take some dance classes, take my dog to obediance, get a different job, start playing flute again, renew my iranian passport, pay off my loans, get new furniture, live somewhere I love, and just have more time for me and my hearts desires. Or will I be too busy with life to live it? Or will I be too busy thinking about the Joneses and forget what I want all over again?
I got smart. I wrote them all down.