Wednesday, May 26, 2010

me

So I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately, and there are some things I've come to embrace about myself. I am flawed, just like everyone else; it is okay to not be perfect, it is okay to make mistakes. The point is that I am constantly on the journey of discovery, not just about life and knowledge, but also about myself. Who I am as a person. This is some of what I know so far.

I am an emotional, feeling person. I've often let my heart rule my choices. This is, obviously good and bad. What I am proud of is how far I've come with it. What I mean is that I'm so much smarter now when it comes to decisions of the heart. I'm not that blubbering, wide-eyed lovesick optimist that I was when I was younger. That doesn't mean I'm jaded, it actually means that I'm wiser, more well adjusted and know now what's right and what I will and will NOT put up with. Here's what I know for sure. Even when I've been knocked out mercilessly by loves hangover, I've found a way to rise above, overcome and try to learn better for next time. I'm very good at standing on my own two feet now. I'm super proud that not once in my life have I had a man taken care of me; I've always paid my own rent and bills! And I'm smart enough now to walk away from anyone that can't be real and treat me how I should be treated! Basic point, I won't do anything that hurts me, I love myself too much for that, and I feel blessed to even realize that!

Friday, May 7, 2010

Good hair

So tonight I really wanted to have a nice girls night in....with myself! I've been picking up extra shifts at work, which is fine, but I knew that this would be my last free evening for a couple days, so I thought I would take advantage of it. I ordered takeout; chicken and ribs and spaghetti, anyone? Yummy! OMG, I wouldn't mind a bigger bum but it goes everywhere else too! Guess I'll just have to burn it off during my extra shifts! So I cozied up with the pup with my indulgent meal and set about watching a movie I'd been wanting to see.


 Good hair! It's a Chris Rock documentary about the black hair industry. I know, my first reaction was "Why is Chris Rock doing a documentary about women's hair?" You would be surprised, pleasantly so and simultaneously shocked and saddened. I learned a lot.  I won't go into it. I would just say watch it! It's really funny but also so revealing in that "I had no idea" kind of way. It makes you think even more about where everything comes from, even hair. It's becoming that just being a regular consumer violates about a dozen human rights issues, but I guess that's sort of the point. To make you realize that you do need to educate yourself about everything you put on, in or near your body. Not just for health reasons, but for humane ones. What Food INC did for grocery shopping, Good hair does for black hair. I know it may not be as relevant to you if you don't fit that demograph. But remember, we are all connected. What effects one of us will somehow effect all of us eventually. How many girls of all races do you know now that have extentions or weaves? Probably more than you even realize; they just haven't told you! So it does effect everyone. Just watch it and come to your own conclusions.

Here's the link.

http://www.zshare.net/video/68159157b4adf3fe/

Thursday, May 6, 2010

thinking

Well it's been a minute but lately my mind has been in about a million places. Been busy doing a lot of thinking as of late. I've been thinking about how I want to spend my summer. I'd really like to get as much enjoyment and time out of the soon to be warm season. To me it's all about quality of life; what I mean by that is I'm not 20 years old anymore and willing to work 60 hours a week serving. I have constantly worked weekends for over 14 years.....that's a long time! Not only that, in 12 of those years, I've never had more than a 2 month break from serving, ever. Yes I have an impressive hospitality resume and yes those tips are nice in the pocket, but how much fun is extra cash when you don't have time to enjoy it? I want weekends off! I don't want to miss out on all the fun times with my friends! Because nowadays, more of my friends work the mon-fri 9 to 5 then not. Not that I'm doing it just to see my friends more, it's so many reasons. I'm at the point in my life where I'm craving a normal schedule. Clearly serving doesn't often offer those type of hours. Which I don't completely have a problem with! I do have other skills I can utilize. My office experience is extensive enough that I can find work in an administrative position. I'm not afraid of the change, but I do know it will take some getting used to. I'm certainly not used to sitting in an office chair all day, but I'm willing to give it a go again. So I beefed up my resume and have been applying for admin jobs. I know that eventually someone will offer me a job so I just keep at it. I'm excited to see what I might get! So there's that.

There is also the matter of relocation. I've had some good times in my little home but I'm ready to have a view and sunlight again! (the downside of living in a basement suite!) I'm also excited about the prospect of a home that isn't constantly freezing cold! I feel like the darkness combined with the chilliness does make me more lethargic within my own home. I really do enjoy doing things around the house; cooking, painting, etc but when it's cold I just want to curl up in my bed with my puppy instead! So I thought I'd stay put here for the summer and move out in the fall but then I realized that's probably not the best time to move out what with all the students going back to school and getting places! So my tentative goal is to move out for the beginning of august! Hope I find something nice! Downtown wouldn't be horrible if I could swing it but I still love the drive area too.

Lots of changes on the horizon, all for the better. Wish me luck!